Inability To Express...

I realise I'm suffering from a disease...

It's called the Inability-To-Express-What-I-Truly-Mean syndrome...
Haha and yeah I agree... It has a f**king long name...

Anyway, coming back to this illness of mine... I don't know when I was diagnosed to it... Maybe was the day I reached my "Nirvana" where I realised that the world I live in is a bloody cynical one...

But whichever the case, it seems like not only I've lost my ability to tear (refer to "Tears..." post), I've also lost my ability to express my true feelings in words or actions!

Words just don't come naturally anymore like they used to be... It doesn't come out the way I wanted it to be or what I meant to be... Instead, at some point it is of a totally different meaning!!

I've lost control in my ability to communicate!!

What have I done to myself?!... Next thing I know I'm paralysed...
But before I reach THAT stage, I shall continue with this blog first...

I think I'm not alone when trying to defeat this illness of mine... I'm sure there are many poor souls out there are suffering the same fate as me... Or maybe I should say every now and then, ANYBODY could suffer such a disease...
It's a modern disease... And like all other diseases, it's caused by stress, fatigue and most importantly criteria, the Lack of Trust between people!

We could no longer able to express freely as we want anymore... And it gets worst with age...

Didn't you realise that?
We could no longer hop around and sing when we're happy or just jolly well cry our hearts out when we're f**king sad like the days as a kid...
Things gets Complicated when we gets OLDER...

For what reason? I don't know...
But it's a stupid society rule that OLDER people are not supposed to show their emotions... Just like Men are not suppose to cry...

F**K social norms and rules!!

When then can we freely express what we truly meant? Or show the true self of ourselves?

When there's such a day to come, it'll be the time I am truly cured from this illness...