A depressed friend once asked me... "Hey, how do you actually remain so happy most of the time?"
A question that really stumped me... Hmmm... So... People view me as a happy person... Ok... Because personally... I don't remember being happy Most of the time... I only know I'm smiling most of the time...
But there is a fine line between being happy and smiling... At least to me... There're times I don't really mean when I smile... I may not even be truly happy when I smile... This is how scary human can be... You never know if that person really meant what he/she means...
Some of my smiles are used to hide my fear, my ignorance or even my shyness... It is a way for me to divert people's attention from my true feeling... One of my shields in life...
However, when outsiders see me... With that smile... They would normally assume that I'm that kind of person who never gets upset, angry or depressed... They would naturally assume that negative feelings would never find its way to me... That is why some of them... Or should I say most of them will kind of take advantage of my happy nature and keep neglecting my feelings... They would not be as sensitive towards my feelings as they would to others... Just because I'm easily happy? So... Now being optimistic, being happy is my fault! That is why I don't deserve the kind of attention everyone is getting?
What is wrong with the world?
Seems like only when a person who has a perpetually F**ked-up face deserved to be kind to... Crazy world that we lived in... If what I say or conclude is true... Then it seems like the world is becoming a depressing and selfish place to live in... Everyone wants to be loved and no one wants to give...
Being happy... Is it that difficult?
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