Slut...

I just received the very first comment for my blog... When I first saw that "1 comment", I was thrilled... Finally, someone commented on my blog... And when I opened it, whao... How great it is... Someone actually termed me as a SLUT...

Slut: an offensive term to be used on a woman (according to encarta dictionary)

Whao! Slut... It really made me wonder... What have I wrote on that post to receive such a comment? Or what had I wrote on previous posts that I might had offended anyone? I really wonder... But... It's all just a comment... Whether I'm slut or not... It's really up to those close to me to comment on... What the rest of the world thinks about me is really up to them...

Of course I'm sad... Slut... From a stranger... But, as I've said... A stranger... Someone who doesn't know me... Unless, this "nice" stranger would like to reveal itself... But till then, who really cares...

Anyway, enough of slutty comments... Ha... Coming back to reality... I'm at a cross-road now... Decision-making time... Many issues are waiting for me to decide... Especially for now, coming from home... There're a few important financial issues which needs my nod to...

Why? Just because I'm 21? Just because I'm the eldest? Or just because I'm soft-hearted? Am I?

I don't know... All I know, I'm sad... Sad from the harsh reality that I live in an environment whereby I've to be on my guard 24/7... Whereby, I can't even trust my close ones... When life becomes like this, it has no meaning to it... I'm lost... Really lost... What I decide tonight is going to determine my future... And for what my future beholds, I've no clue to it...

I've once told a few close friends of mine over lunch... That I really like my boy's family... Ha... Funny isn't it? Liking someone else's family...
Well, that's because it's a normal loving family... Whereby, the whole family sits down for dinner and talk about the day's work... Whereby, everyone cares for everyone from the very bottom of their heart... You don't doubt on the kindness your close ones shown to you... And you don't feel restricted on stuffs you can say to them, worrying that one day, they used it against you... You don't! You don't do such stuffs in a Normal family... But... It's the normality that I miss, that I crave for...

"God is fair"... Many had said... And I agree... For what I have, there stuffs which I don't have... And for now, I'm willing to have a switch... For what I crave for I don't have...