Worried...

I'm worried...

Worried about my brother's newfound faith... Worried about how is he coping with adolescence... Worried about the company he mixes with... Worried about what they do...

I kind of have a mix feelings when my brother started embracing his new faith...

Happy : 'Cause finally he has something for him to put his faith in...

Worried : 'Cause I don't really know what's going on in his life anymore... His life revolves around his church... And I have no idea what they are keeping him busy with...

He stays in his room, reading up his bible studies... And recently, I realise he's fasting... Skipping his lunch... For... His prayer... And according to him, by fasting, his prayer will be more sincere... And his prayer turns out to be him praying for his youth growth...

I don't know... But doesn't it seem worrying to u guys?... I'm worried... Very... Don't know if that's what the rest of the Christians do... But we are talking about my brother here!! The very big-sized brother who never say no to food... Fasting!! Sigh... I don't even know how to react to this whole thing! To be glad that he is so serious about something? Or to be worried as what I'm doing now?

Maybe it's just a growing phrase... Maybe he is really serious about this whole thing... But whichever case, I kind of feel like losing my brother along the way... I still love him... Definitely... But... I no longer know what's going through in his mind anymore... And for that, I blame myself... For not being able to be there for him...

Sometimes, I feel more like a mother to him than a sister... I treat him more like a son than a brother... Maybe that's because I was the mother all the while... So, I'm actually experiencing what all adolescents' mothers experience..

Worrying...